Offering Up the Personal to Thy Will
What is called personal volition or will, is actually the façade that drives all of the suffering. From the egoic perspective, giving over personal will is the biggest sacrifice and brings on the greatest possible sense of vulnerability. But in actuality, it is completely contrary to this.
Imagine the feeling of releasing involvement with all choice, releasing the sense of burden with all decision making, being free to fall into the feeling of who you are, of what is untouched, this feeling of pure love. Everything peripheral is no longer anyone’s responsibility. It is all offered, and in this something deep inside already knows it is not sacrifice or entering into chaos, it is carried. This cannot be known by conditioned mind but something within you knows.
Life transforms from a theme of efforting to the feeling of being carried in the womb, in the belly of the Divine Mother, and the fluid in the womb is pure nurturance, it is pure love. What involvement does the fetus have with the Mother’s choices? It is bathed in the womb of eternal love, in the feeling of I. It is free to fall into it, and all of the appearance of choosing that seems so necessary is just handed over.
A very interesting thing happens when this occurs. It is not only that the burden of the appearance of choice is freed, but the burden of identification with this body is also freed. At this point there is a feeling of falling into from where this dream originally sprang. And then it is just Thy will, unencumbered. It is now God’s dream and no longer the dream of personal karma.
For most this is experienced as a process. There are these intermittent tastes of great beauty, and then the arising once again of conditioned desire. And each time it comes up, instead of following the usual trap, there is the opportunity of offering it up as Thy will, and falling back into the feeling of I, the feeling of your own essence.
Fear also will arise, fear and desire being the two forces that drive thought. But it works the same way. It appears, and then there is the offering it up and falling back into the womb of pure light. And the miracle is that everything gets taken care of, so much more beautifully, directly, cleanly than ever before. Free of the burden of someone. The nature of this dream is that it will offer the conditioned mind all of its latent fears and desires, and each time they are offered back, the nectar reveals itself in a more and more alive way, and the illusion of something separate actually happening out there is revealed more and more vividly.
Bodily issues, worldly issues cease to be yours. It is not that they stop appearing, but they are no longer yours. It has all been offered back to the source that knows exactly what to do. The mind’s terror of giving up 'my will' is discovered to be the doorway into eternal bliss.